Dandelyon's Worlds

Usually, when I do ritual, creating sacred space is easy. I hold my intent softly and gently in my mind, and I am there. Day or night, private or public space, the presence of candles, incense, or other sacred tools--it doesn't matter.

Except when it does.

Being able to do it so casually most of the time can make it harder to notice when it isn't just happening, much less to figure out why. Especially since life is usually unusually hard at that point--and isn't that when we need our sacred spaces the most?.

This is complicated by the fact that I find that living my life with the awareness and intent that each moment is sacred to be more important than formal ritual, which so often can be empty, or filled with a sense of bored obligation rather than an awareness and celebration of the divine within and without. Yeah, there's boredom and drudgery in any path--it's impossible to convince myself that washing dishes is sacred on an experiential level, no matter how much I agree it's sacred on a logical level, for instance--so it's a challenge to try to stay in that mental space, even when evil is not on the rise, even when there's no clear and present danger that in the near future I won't have the money and healthcare I need, and even when there's no urgent worries about the health or well-being of people I care about.

Add those things in, and that sense of wonder, of the sacred, can slip away like a well drying up in a drought. It's there, and it's there, and it's there (though you have to work harder and be more patient to drink your fill), until, one day, it's not there, or at least is not enough.

And for all my belief that we can defeat this evil and all my determination that we will (because we must), it's taking its toll. I don't want to have to spend time on politics, not day in and day out. I don't want to be looking at my dwindling income and the threats to Obamacare and the threats of violence to queer people and worrying about the future. My health issues affect my sleep on my best nights. Worries don't help at all, and exhaustion mimics depression remarkably well. It's no wonder I've been feeling worn, overwhelmed, uninspired, and distracted.

But my good friend Susan Urban and her husband were playing at Pagan Pride (as a group, they call themselves February Sky), and though I overslept and we got there late, I was determined to get there. And we did get there, and I was walking around listening to the music, looking at things and talking quietly to the vendors, and the sweet old lady doing readings talked me into a discounted reading. She assured me her cards could give me insight into what I most need to know, and that's why I was at her table. Then she asked about my question. Half of my focus was on the music and the other half, the part thinking about my life, was just kind of overwhelmed. I stuck with that question: "What do I most need to know?".

She does readings using three decks. She had me shuffle the first deck, fan them out, and draw cards one at a time, three from the first deck and one each from the other two. First, I drew Armadillo, which she said was all about setting boundaries appropriately, but also a warning to face my troubles and not try to hide in my shell. Armadillo was flanked by cards for the mental and practical, lizard, for dreams, and snake, for rebirth. A lot of reptiles--maybe signifying that I'm naturally more affected by the metaphysical weather than I thought? I don't know. But the boundaries thing, that rang true in lots of ways, from keeping the boundaries on my food intake I need to stay healthy to limiting my exposure to all the upsetting news happening today. I've also had a task to organize my writing and arting better that I set into my Google calendar. It's been recurring as instructed for a few weeks now, whether or not I had the time and energy to do it, and that is also essentially an issue of boundaries, of carving out time and focus so I get more done. Not that I saw all that in the moment, but I felt at least some of it, on a deep, wordless level.

And then she had me draw a card from the second deck, the deck she said was Spirit Guides. I've never felt a particular affinity to Panda, but the advice that I need to create a sacred space in my home and place of work, that certainly rang true, and continues to ring true. There are plenty of things that have been making me crazy about my work and living spaces. There's reasons for all of that, of course; I've been focused on accomplishing urgent things. But that doesn't leave much space or time for thinking about making sacred space and sacred time where and when I most need it. That dovetails right into the need to tend boundaries, really, in my mind. I've started to act on that part. Since the reading, I've prioritized putting at least a little time every day into finishing the plaster work on our currently deconstructed dry goods closet (I pulled it apart when I didn't have time because the detritus made it clear it had become a mouse haven, and wouldn't be a safe haven for our food and oven parchment and so forth until the holes were fixed), and cleaning my office (I'd kept enough space for writing, barely, but had started sorting old papers and cluttered things up quite a bit. Mind you sorting those papers is a legitimate business activity, but having them clutter up my creative space was far from inspirational. I will just have to refuse to pull more stuff out to sort than I can finish in one sitting, not to have my office look like it belongs in some yuppy magazine, but because I need the space to feel inspired.) There's work yet to do on both of those things, and other stuff to do after, but at least I have started. Some of this was clear to me when she turned Panda over for me to see, but it reflects into other things too, into my goal of giving away or throwing away stuff I don't need and even into remembering to go out and pick up the trash that blows into (and gets stuck in) my rose bushes.

Finally, from a deck that's all wolves, I received the advice that I'm at a crossroads, with an emphasis that I am not at a dead end, I am free to choose my new direction. Additionally, the card advised me to plan and to keep focused on what's practical. I'm not sure what to make of that yet, but I'm still working on the boundaries and the sacred space. I expect that once I get those things in order, I'll start to see what paths are available and what choices I have to choose between. And certainly, with the danger of having less resources in the future, keeping practicality in mind matters.

I suppose that now I should go check on that drying plaster. It would be nice to paint the closet tomorrow, or at least very soon. Once it's dry, I can put stuff away that's currently hard to find and underfoot in the library.

And then I'll remember a lesson learned in my divorce, and do some formal ritual to help things along. Candles, incense, statues and so on are only symbols to help me focus (I learned, long ago, that if I tried to rely on an object for my magic, it would break or disappear all too soon)--but when I'm having trouble focusing, they are powerful symbols. And the tools I use are all, in and of themselves, beautiful and in alignment with my higher self, or I wouldn't use them in the first place.

They'll still be in a space that's imperfectly cleaned and sorted, but I can celebrate the progress I've made and plan for what I need to do to move forward, in whatever directions I will choose along the way.

Blessed Be to all of you, my friends. May you have the sacred space you need, and may your boundaries be wisely set and wholesome. May your dreams be strong, and if you need to shed a skin or two, I hope it won't itch too much as you shed the old and grow into the new. And when you face a crossroads, may you be aware that very few choices are between a good path and a bad one. May you see clearly the risks and benefits of your choices, and may you find inspiring and practical ways to work to achieve your dreams, and kindness along the way.

Status: No new free card requests, please. Paid readings are fine, however.

So, I've been dealing with a family medical thing, and not much on the internet. I have a partially-written post about the wonderful writer's conference I went to last month that I haven't finished, and other stuff to share, but mostly what's been on my mind is this medical thing, and it's not my story to tell (which I am finding is frustrating for a storyteller to deal with). But I will continue to respect the person's wish for privacy, and not share details. It's nothing to be alarmed about, however, though I was worrying for a while. But medical stuff is always like that--there's always a chance things could go wrong, or something is worse than the doctors thought. So you worry. It's a part of being human, I think.

Today I'm wishing I could travel to see the eclipse properly in totality, but it is not to be. We'll see as much as we can from outside the clinic where there's a doctor's appointment shortly after as much of the totality as we'll get to experience. I guess I'll count my blessings and be happy that the appointment isn't during the height of it.

The cards are set out in a big window, out of their silk wrappings to absorb the energy of the eclipse.

I'm going to offer a five-card reading for $25 or a three-card for $20, or if you want a larger reading we can discuss costs. As always, a signal boost will allow you to ask for a clarification card on some part of this reading, if you wish.

Or, of course, you can simply ask for a single card (with the usual clarifying card for people who tip or boost the signal). The guitar case below is my personal PayPal link, featuring my own artwork, which still inspires me even though it isn't Tarot-related.

So, let's see if I can offer some some inspiration or spark some creativity for you. You can ask about real life or a creative project, or even a game. Ask that once-in-a-lifetime question, if you want, in your heart if you don't want to write it out. Perhaps the energy of the eclipse will offer special insight. I can draw a card for you to meditate on, to represent the Guide you need right now, or to get you unstuck. I can draw a card for a character or can draw a card or cards for you to use as writing or art prompts, and I can modify a more-traditional spread into a prompt for a story focusing on plot or characters or a little of both.

New friends and old are very welcome. I'm happy to have you visit.

For free one card readings, you can pick from the Brian Froud's Faeries Oracle, the Daughters of the Moon Tarot (one of the round decks), or the Shapeshifter Tarot. You can ask a question, ask for a Guide or for inspiration, or you can just ask for a card. I don't need to know what your question is, but you are welcome to share it with me if you like.

The first card is free (though tips are always appreciated). Tips (including requests for longer readings) also let you ask me to use my combined Susan Seddon Boulet Animal Spirits and Goddesses cards. Other decks (unless you want me to read for you using Magic the Gathering cards, which have great artwork and therefore could be used) are not available right now. Tipping can also be used to request a private reading, or to draw a clarifying card. If you want a longer reading, send a direct message so we can agree on the type of reading and rate.

Signal boosts are very much appreciated, and also earn you the right to ask for a clarifying card. I'd love to do a bunch of readings for this eclipse! I expect to stay open until at least Tuesday night, and possibly longer.

I understand all too well that when people don't have cash or spoons that is generally when they most need inspiration! Don't be afraid to ask for a card if you can't tip.

If you tip, it's helpful to me for you to mention it here so I can connect your Paypal information with your request. Tips should be at least $1 (Paypal charges fees). If Paypal doesn't work for you, drop me a message and we'll work something out.

I've written before about why I do readings and some of the decks I use here, feel free to hop over and check me out. I'll wait.

I will reply to all requests. In the highly unlikely event that the number of requests nears my limits, I'll close this card draw by adding a clear note at the top of the post rather than risk leaving anyone without a response. However, I intend to stay open through the weekend, and longer for paid readings.

Thank you, Blessed Be, and Happy Eclipse!

As always, these readings are for entertainment and inspiration only. See my "Dandelyon's Readings" page if you have questions.

It's a New Moon this evening, so I'm opening my garden for a card draw. As always, I hope to send some good energy out into the world, to spark some hope and creativity. You can ask about real life or a creative project, or even a game. I can draw a card for you to meditate on, to represent the Guide you need right now, or to get you unstuck. I can draw a card for a character or can draw a card or cards for you to use as writing or art prompts--starting something new is a traditional use of New Moon energy. But ask what you will, because now is always transforming into a new moment.

I hope you will stop by my garden. It's warm this evening, the grass is green, the roses are mostly starting to bud, and the dandelions and weeds are growing. There's a few tulips and daffodils--they're thinner than I would wish, since the squirrels think they're food when we first plant them, but spring blooms are always welcome. You and I can share hot chocolate or tea and chat, and you can get a reading if you would like one.

New friends and old are welcome.

For free one card readings, you can pick from the Brian Froud's Faeries Oracle, the Daughters of the Moon Tarot (one of the round decks), or the Shapeshifter Tarot. You can ask a question, ask for a Guide or for inspiration, or you can just ask for a card. I don't need to know what your question is, but you are welcome to share it with me if you like.

The first card is free (though tips are always appreciated). Tips also let you ask me to use any of my other decks, including but not limited to my combined Susan Seddon Boulet Animal Spirits and Goddesses cards. Tipping ca also be used to request a private reading, or to draw a clarifying card. If you want a longer reading, send a direct message so we can agree on the type of reading and rate.

Please consider dropping something in the guitar case below. Readings take time and energy, and even though the Milwaukee winter, like everything else, has been affected by global warming, winter heat is pricey and old houses always need repair somewhere or other.

Signal boosts are very much appreciated, and also earn you the right to ask for a clarifying card.

I understand all too well that when people don't have cash or spoons that is generally when they most need inspiration! Don't be afraid to ask for a card if you can't tip.

If you tip, it's helpful to me for you to mention it here so I can connect your paypal information with your request. Tips should be at least $1 (Paypal charges fees). If that doesn't work for you, drop me a message and we'll work something out.

I've written before about why I do readings and some of the decks I use here, feel free to hop over and check me out. I'll wait.

I will reply to all requests. In the highly unlikely event that the number of requests nears my limits, I'll close this card draw by adding a clear note at the top of the post rather than risk leaving anyone without a response. However, I intend to stay open at least through Thursday morning, and longer for paid readings. The weekend will be busy, so if you get your request in after noon on Thursday, I may not draw your card until Sunday night. If that's all right with you, it's all right with me!

Thank you, and Blessed Be!

As always, these readings are for entertainment and inspiration only. See my "Dandelyon's Readings" page if you have questions.

Or some other period, or for a creative project.  I've even done readings for characters!  I'm hoping to spread a little hope and good energy in this scary time.

You can ask here or over on LJ:

on DW: My mirrored post

on LJ:  My Original Post

All friends, new (even as-yet unknown) and old, are welcome!

I sit here drinking tea from the teapot my daughter made, pulling and turning clay with her own hands, learning in college a truth that artists need to hold dear, that the process is so important, if the process doesn’t enrich the artist the finished product doesn’t either. If the finished product ever comes to exist, that is.



I don’t, of course, mean that there’s no work in producing art—there’s a lot of it, sweat and frustration and sometimes just sheer slogging forward. But there’s more, though it’s really hard to pin it down and describe it, especially when you’re slogging. And that *more* is valuable and necessary.

It being January, I’m also thinking over the past year, which was full of slogging. I didn’t accomplish anywhere near as much as I’d planned, though I was busy with necessary things almost every day. There were just so many of them! I had been feeling bad about that as I pulled into Windycon, but then a friend asked about my year and I talked and talked and talked, finally walking away feeling like I’d overstayed my welcome (though she assured me I hadn’t).  Afterward, I realized how many things I had done but hadn’t mentioned.  It was a full and frustrating year.

I started out with simple goals, I thought. Make abundant room for creative pursuits in my house and in my life. Get me and My Angel healthier. Get the house in less of a state of deferred maintenance. Finish unfinished stories and start new ones.

I did a lot of work toward those goals, but finding that magic point where you say "it's done!" mostly eluded me.  I kept finding things that had to be done before the things I had my sights on—and then, things that had to be done so those things could get done.  In between, I found new, urgent things to spend time on, like getting the heat fixed (twice).

I had big dreams.  I knew I was tired when I left the law firm, but I didn’t realize how totally exhausted I was, nor did I plan on getting dreadfully sick right after that. It took weeks after I felt “better” to have energy to do stuff, even very simple stuff like painting walls and fixing plaster.  (In case you have any doubt, painting walls a single color and filling cracks in the wall with plaster take a lot less emotional and intellectual energy than telling a story, painting a picture, or singing a song.)

My Angel continued to be sick, even with the thyroid medication, and her doctor gave her a handicapped parking card. We’ve spent the year talking with her various doctors about shifting her medications, trying to find a better mix so she could be more active, fall down less, and feel better.  We have made some progress, but that tale still isn't done.

We are now in mid-renovation for both bathrooms, since the one that was in mostly-inactive status had to be swiftly moved to primary-bathroom status despite its incomplete renovation status, so we could fix toilet leaks and rotting flooring upstairs. We still have to take out the toilet downstairs and do similar repairs there, once we finish fixing the walls in the upstairs bathroom, which couldn't be reached without moving the bathtub.  And so it goes. (Gosh, these projects would be much easier if I could just hire a crew to do all the work.)

Health issues continue to require attention. Just recently, I went to pick up a friend to get the necessary snow shoveling done, and even that tiny, short exposure to the sub-zero cold moved me back from relying on the computer to remind me to take my daily minimum asthma medicines to my lungs reminding me rather insistently to take the maximum dosages. The allergies and asthma are also an issue with making room; I have to be careful handling dusty things or things that might be full of mold or other allergens.  And even if I had enough money to just hire workmen to do all the needed repairs, the work of sifting through things and throwing away or giving away the stuff that doesn't enrich my life can't be so easily delegated.

Looking forward, and remembering how sick I got after last year’s virus (the doctor didn’t actually give me a diagnosis, just strong pills, but given the symptoms I must have gone from a flu into either bronchitis or pneumonia), I have been very cautious about heading out to parties and other gatherings, and I sure hope that the flu epidemic will be over by next month, when I’m scheduled to be at Capricon.  I have to remind myself to eat healthy, sleep well, and claim the best health I can.

So, as I finish my tea, I remember that process matters in life too. The work of art that is my life isn’t finished, but I’m making progress. I remind myself of my sister, Dragon’s, chant—slow progress is still progress. And I think about how nice it is to take mint leaves from my garden and put them into a hand-made pot given to me by my now-adult child, thoughtfully made with a strainer built into the clay. That makes me think of the song by Elmer Beal, which honors the creators in the world, and says, in part, “…the future is more than the following day, it's fashioned securely in the clay.”

I take another sip, and look at the mug my tea is in.  I wanted a mug in suitable colors for the pot, since my daughter focused on making teapots; at the Restore (which sells furniture building materials and the like as a fund-raiser for Habitat for Humanity) I found a mug with a name written around it in Irish letters.



I was of course not so lucky as to find a mug with my name on it; this one was, instead, for Patricia. It feels right, however, since my Aunt was a Patricia, so that the herbs grown in the sacred earth of my garden are housed in a pot made of clay by the next generation, and a cup that I think was made in Ireland, where most of my ancestors lived, that commemorates the previous generation. Past, present, and future, heritage and dreams, earth, air, fire, water, and spirit—they’re all tangled together, no more separate than the different sides of a polyhedral die.

As I finish my tea, I resolve to be open to the processes needed for the new year, and to frame my goals in wide terms. More specificity might suit a different year better, but for this new year I think I need to be more alive to the possibilities of the moment. In general terms however, I resolve to continue my goal of making room, and very specifically add the intentional goal of staying healthy enough to do a lot more, both on the house and on the creative front. I plan to have a lot of fun (and doubtless lots of frustration) writing and arting and creating the best stories of my life, so far. I may fashion my bit of the future mostly in pixels, instead of clay, but in this modern world, that is just as real.

And I think I’ll drink more tea, from this pot and this mug, and from others, and remember that each act of creation is a measure of my faith in the future as well as my small part in creating it.

And so I tip my glass to all of you.  Slàinte!

There's not much in it yet, but it's a start!  Ellen did a great job of getting it in place.

Go look!

I'm excited!

Thanks, ellenmillion !

Today is SF&F Writer's Day. I'm hoping it's an auspicious day to start this new venture.

I've been thinking that, since I'm still out of work, I should venture into cyberfunded creativity/crowdfunding, and see what happens. Reading haikujaguar  and shadesong  and ysabetwordsmith , and seeing how they interact with their readers, I realized I have both sat down alone to write a story, and sat around a table telling a story for people who were participating, as characters, in my world. But I really haven't tried writing with kibitzers, so I'm going to try an experiment, and you are all invited to kibitz, to ask questions, make suggestions, make comments, and so on.

I have a story snippet that I think will do for a start, but initially I'm going to post a short-short to introduce you a bit to the world. This is the world that the novel I'm working on is set in, but will be a different story.

And there will be a donate button; if you enjoy, please let me know--and please let your friends know everyone is welcome. Please don't give more than you can afford, and thanks for reading.

I feel like just curling into a warm bed and waiting until the world is warm and bright, or at least not so cold and dark. If I could have chosen a time to be out of work, just about any time would have been preferable. Job hunting is just SO much fun, after all, that I need to do it in snow and frigid cold, just to keep me from over-enthusiasm--not!

Having to think about what I want in a job, and interviewing skills, and all the other stuff related to job searching has also pretty well distracted me from writing, for the last few days, besides, which is doubly annoying since I finally figured out about a dozen reasons why various characters would have a motive to kill my soon-to-be murder victim, so I can have my good guys overhear pertinent things. Thank goodness I wrote down all my thoughts about what he has been up to during my lunch hour, instead of going to the bank during my lunch hour, on what turned out to be my last day of work.

So, new moon. The new moon is traditionally a time for beginnings, definitely what is called for in this situation; here's hoping that things work out for the better!

I reached the last of the people I wanted to list on my references list today, and got some new, respectable-looking shoes. And did a bunch of thinking as to what I want out of a new job, and also about how to phrase things when talking to people; mental rehearsals do help. And my sister suggested looking at u-tube for updos. I figure tomorrow I need to start making phone calls. And find or buy some barrettes & other hair things.

Once I get the mundane job search process well underway, I'll start considering possible ways to make at least a bit of money online; to that end, if there's anything that I do or sell that someone out there wants to buy, please let me know.

Belatedly, I get around to the last new moon post of the year. I suppose I should count it a goal met that I’ve posted for each new and full moon, though not always on time. And I’ve gotten some writing done, and some music, and some art, and some work on my house, though I would have liked to get a lot more done on all of the above.

It was a wonder to drive into Chicago on Christmas Eve, and to drive for what felt like the first time in months (tho I know it wasn’t that long) on dry pavement, no snow or sleet or ice to slow down the driving—and no construction besides! It was also delightful to return to Milwaukee (after watching the small lake in my Aunt’s Chicago-city backyard advance way too close to the house, and recede again the next day—it’s a very good thing they didn’t have nearly as much snow as we had in Milwaukee before they had their post-Christmas thaw and pea-soup fog) and find that in their zeal to get the storm sewers open for Milwaukee’s less drastic thaw, the city had plowed the alley, so I could get to my parking space without getting stuck first. (I have not removed the two shovels, cat sand, and salt from the car, however. It seems to me that doing so would be like washing the car in spring.)

I guess I’ll think about plans for the new year later. I’m out of lunch hour, and this post is late already.

Blessed Be, everyone!

I wasn't feeling good earlier this week, not a good thing before going to visit Aunt, who just got out of the hospital.  The Kid headed into Chicago right after school to do most of the cooking, but I stayed in Milwaukee until this morning to make sure I wasn't contagious.  It's really cool that my kid has the skills and focus to do that!  I'm proud of her.  Dinner was really good; we played games after.  Someone gave my artist-Sister a small trapezoidal "harp"; I tuned it for her and the kids, but especially her daughter, played with it on and off all night.  

So I guess I may be shopping tomorrow after all, finding some finger picks and maybe small hammers, a tuning wrench, and perhaps even a chromatic tuner if the price fits my sister's budget.  Silly day for shopping, tho.  IMHO.  

We also moved furniture around to make room for Aunt's Christmas tree...I guess I'll be hanging ornaments tomorrow.  My house isn't in any kind of shape for having my own Yule Tree...sigh...  I really want the energy I had when  was 18 back!  Oh, well, the face-hugger is giving me some of my energy (and mental clarity) back, so I'll count my blessings.