This is good. The extended analogy between hot sand and cold water and life and death works.
I hate to sound a negative note, but there is one thing that bothers me. Lake Michigan doesn't have tides like the ocean. They're enough to measure, but not enough to overwhelm a spot on the beach that was dry. Unless this story is supposed to be in an alternate world, and there weren't any other clues that I noticed. If you did it on purpose for plans of your own, you might consider making it more obvious. Else, you might think about transplanting the story to a regular ocean.
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Date: 2009-10-04 03:54 am (UTC)I hate to sound a negative note, but there is one thing that bothers me. Lake Michigan doesn't have tides like the ocean. They're enough to measure, but not enough to overwhelm a spot on the beach that was dry. Unless this story is supposed to be in an alternate world, and there weren't any other clues that I noticed. If you did it on purpose for plans of your own, you might consider making it more obvious. Else, you might think about transplanting the story to a regular ocean.