nitpick: paragraph 9 (starting "Their host") is missing at least one word at the end. I assume it's just supposed to be the one word "dance" but there might be something more missing.
You have a lot going on here and have me wondering several things -- good start!
(no subject)
Date: 2014-04-09 04:31 pm (UTC)You have a lot going on here and have me wondering several things -- good start!