The car is currently covered with a camping tarp while we have thunderstorms and possible tornadoes in the neighborhood.

I guess at least I had a camping tarp! (I used the one that had been used as a painter's dropcloth at some point; not sure how I got one disfigured like that, but I figure it's less likely to be stolen than a new-looking one.

How stupid is it that I worry about people stealing a camping tarp?

I didn't come up with a story yet; my morning's headache came back and the noise of the shop-vac did not help brain function. Maybe tomorrow.